It’s Mother’s day, my dear friends.
As we go into our 3rd year of mothering and fathering a child that isn’t here I realize Mother’s day is a really hard day for some. I know mom and dads who are mom and dads without their baby here to hold.
My cousins – who are my most favorite people – also do not have their mother here to celebrate- so I know that this day is hard for many in that sense as well.
After Leo died I felt such a deep guilt and sorrow- that I just lost everything our family wanted.
Yesterday we had an event with Raising BLUE. At the end of the day my sister and Brother-in-law agreed that Mother’s day probably wasn’t the best week for an event.
You see- Raising BLUE is not about raising lots of money for me. There was something that happened yesterday that it’s hard to explain – if you haven’t been there.
Sure the crowd might not have been huge- BUT- there was a momma there- who’s baby girl isn’t here today- on Mother’s day to go the breakfast at Friches- and to the flower shop to pick out pink or purple flowers for her mommy….
BUT yesterday- she came to an event – where someone in our community sponsored a golf hole in honor of her daughter.
You know what I hope she felt in that moment? We see you Mom- you are STILL a mom- your mothering is just going to look a little different.
It’s fresh and new- so I got to hug that mom as she teared up and speak to her fabulous family- I mean serially it takes a really strong family to support a bereaved family.
What I’ve really found is that no matter what- when you’ve loved someone so much- no matter how much life you lived with them your love will never get lost.
It’s going to look tricky though. You might get mad they aren’t here… You might feel jealous someone else has “here” what you want to bad… you might feel super deep painful sorrow where you can’t get out of bed… but if you get up- and go do 1 thing each day- I know you will see love doesn’t just get lost… it will never lose you.
Raising BLUE has been a blessing in every sense of the word for our family and it is also my way of showing bereaved parents that out babies never, ever, leave us. I think that mom and dads that show up each day- for work, for lunch dates, for events, for ANYTHING- who are missing a child are the true definition of courage. What happens when you do that though- can be so beautiful- because that’s where you find your baby.
One looking in will see that we are super blessed this mothers day. I hope the mom and dads who are missing the center of their family, their child, are able to surround themselves with people who love them.
Mom- the love you have for your baby will never get lost. I promise. Don’t you worry one second or wonder if what you do today is enough- because it is.
Look around- how do you see and feel your baby? He or she will show you that you two were meant to be together- and together forever…. the love your baby has for you will never get lost And you never lost anything- your baby may have died- but I promise you- if you go to a flower shop- one flower is going to stand out more than others– open those pretty eyes to that- pick it out.. carry it home and know that you will never stop carrying your daughter…
Happy Mother's Day to those very special Moms that I love with all my heart