"Take the sourest lemon life has to offer and

turn it into something resembling lemonade"

To Serve

January 18, 2015


Leo and I went to see American Sniper yesterday afternoon. My heart is still breaking yet whole from seeing the movie. If you have the time and the money- go support this film.

I went to the movie not knowing much about “The Legend” or what the story was really about. Really what I thought it was about was a badass man who loved his family- and his country.

I found myself – when he was going through a tough time- sounds being louder- over reacting when nothing was really happened – comparing to myself. I know- there I go- trying to tell myself I’m like a ______ in this case, sniper.

The moment where I felt a great connection was when he was visiting a psychologist and he said to Mr. Kyle, “There’s plenty of men that need saving here”.

THAT is when his life changed- according to the movie.

They say that when going through a big life stressor or going through a traumatic experience (I believe stillbirth is 100% a traumatic experience and it has been closely related to PTSD- in my case telling my story over and over again lines up with that “diagnosis”) that giving back and finding your purpose for going through “so much mental and physical stress” is what can be life changing, life saving.

Mr. Kyle did that. He gave back- he served his country overseas and in the states. He gave back to veterans. He was selfless he sacrificed so much- it’s what he had to do- even putting his family aside (but not really) to help others.

I find myself- and parents like myself doing the same thing. Of course I’ve never found myself on a roof top with tons of men circling around me trying to find me- but what I have done is been at my home and having to choose- do I be present for dinner or do I talk with a mother who lost her baby, all her hope.

What in the world am I saying? I was so inspired by Chris and Taya Kyle’s story. Fighting the good fight and just doing what is right. He was trained to do what he did- he went through it himself and was able to dig others out of darkness

I see people doing some pretty incredible stuff with their life–they have booming careers- they have an amazing work ethic- but what impresses me the most are the people who go into darkness- wether they choose it or not – dig themselves out- and GIVE BACK. That is amazing. That is true test of character. That is a real hero.

On a day when I have submitted my story to the CDC (for a Count the Kicks awareness/support page), helped a mother with funeral expenses, and also got to spend most of the day playing with my children I’m glad that I went to see American Sniper. What a true hero and what an example of resilience. I am inspired.

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