Kingston. GOsh Kingston.
My sunshine. My “sugar”.
The baby that wasn’t planned. The baby I wasn’t ready to have.
Thank God for him.
He’s my Super Bowl Baby.
You know there is something really magical that happens when you stop saying why me and open up to the possibilities or the perhaps that life is going to happen to you in the way that it is supposed to no matter what. No matter what… and you feel that.. throw out the fear of knowing it could all fall apart.. and give thanks for the blessings around you.. It’s magical.
Where would I be without Kingston?
Next week on February 3rd Kingston will be three.. and you know what I would love to give him?
Leo said the other day he was at my moms and Lola was sleeping in her car seat. Leo said “Shhh Kingston, you sister is sleeping”..
now Leo is casually telling me this right before I was to go down to work..
He says, “Yeah and then Kingston started yelling, Where’s my brother? Where is my brother”..
I had just taken a drink and the water stayed in my mouth for a minute while i just starred at Leo..
I swallowed the water slow.. and watched him.. and then I bend my head down and tears were going down my face….
Leo said “I think he was confused or something”..
I looked up..
“NO Leo- he’s not confused”. I said as I wiped tears away.
It happens like that sometimes.. where I get caught up in emotion..
So I went down and wrote in my journal that I was thankful for that. Those moments let me know that I still feel him. He’s still here.
I can’t physically give Kingston his brother. What I can do is live a life that is resilient and graceful for Kingston to follow. To show him that bad things do happen but that doesn’t mean the rest of our lives have to be bad.. or not joyful.
Where is he little guy? My sweet Kingston? He’s everywhere.