"Take the sourest lemon life has to offer and

turn it into something resembling lemonade"

How to Save a Life

November 27, 2013

That’s one of my most favorite The Fray songs.. 


And when I hear it my eyes well up with tears. 

I would have stayed up all night .. I would have done anything to save my baby. 

and I would stay up all night to save yours… 

I know where to go to save babies… 

The hospitals, the health department, OB offices, clinics…right here on social media… 

I’m going.. 

I have to. I’ve cried so much this week for families.. I’ve prayed hard.. 

and although I still feel a little lost.. like I”m not sure of my direction I know I have to go.. and fight .. and get this information to moms.. I need this blog .. our stories to touch other moms in a way that they know the importance.. 

If you think babies are easy to come by just listen to the stories of my friends in Iowa, of the state Ambassadors for Count the Kicks.. or the 87 year old woman in your life who might have hid her story, her baby, out of shame.. 

It happens.. I don’t want to scare you I want to empower you. I want your baby to live. 

and, if your baby didn’t- I want you to come walk with me and lets help moms know they have to be the voice for their baby. 

Losing a part of your family is never an easy story to tell. I talk about Leo so much. Sometimes I wonder after I leave a conversation I think  “was that appropriate?”… But he’s my family I’m going to keep talking about him.. 

I want to save lives and if we can’t I want families to know they are not alone.  

Where did we go wrong? I’m not so sure we did… I don’t know.. did we? We would have done anything for our baby. I’ll never ever forget laying down on my bed April 4th saying to Leo “She took 20 minutes to hear his heartbeat”.. and Leo smiling and saying “Maybe he’s our calm one”… Leo was either already gone.. or dying.. I know it.. 

This morning Kingston looked me straight in the eye when I came up for a break from work and said “Where’s my brother?”.. 

I said, “What did you say, Kingston?”

“Well were is my brother?” he said… 

and before I could answer he said, “Well maybe he is in my bed”.. and ran in his room.. 

Geesh that was tough. If Leo was supposed to be my calm one he sure created a storm in his momma.. 

all I know is I would have done anything to save him.. up all night.. ran 100 miles… cut off my arm.. anything.. 

but I can’t bring him back.. Kingston can’t play with him.. perhaps somehow he sees him or feels him.. 

but I will stay up at night fighting for other families.. and I know one day there will be a baby saved…. there will be a family touched.. and it’s kindness and compassion that makes the world go around.. and eventually will touch a life enough to save a life… 

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