It’s been a crazy 5 days.
3 hotel rooms.
and I’m crashed in a corner hotel room with my lap top and 3 suitcases, a lap top bag, a back pack, and a purse..
looking to start a new career and get my life in order to just grow and burst open and bloom.
There was dust all over my Sperry’s behind the barn. I was kicking it around just after setting up the silent auction stuff for Blue’s Piumpkin Bash. My feet were a mess. I like these shoes, that’s what I was thinking to myself.
But my hand was holding myself up. I had my hand on a pillar and Lola wrap tight against my chest. NO one could see me. I was crying.
First message was “the face painter canceled.”
I thought, “that’s ok, I have two, I had two because I was prepared.” I was ok.
I checked the radar. “Rain 40%”
Then I got an e-mail. “I can’t make it. I am sorry”.
Second face painter. Canceled.
That’s when walked back behind the barn and had a moment. The sun still shining.
My moment. With Lola. I brushed the tears away and just thought — what am I doing? This is totally stupid. I put too much on my plate and this is what happens.
I was just getting myself together when my sis and my cousin, Jennifer found me, gave me a hug, and I tried to tell them they weren’t supposed to find me.
I got it together just enough to get through.
And the cars started coming.
So did the rain.
I think with every car that came- so did more rain.
Red Cedars came and when setting up their stuff. I was standing in the rain, with Lola, and I felt defeated.
“Should we put the band here or there?”
I just stared for a minute and took a big deep breath and just as I wanted to cry my brother in law grabbed me and put his arm around me to let me know that yes, this stinks, but it’s ok. He didn’t say a word. I love him for that moment.
No ones going to come. I thought.
And it kept raining.
I’m not going to be able to pay for a funeral.
And it kept raining.
People kept coming and it kept raining.
I looked around shortley after 2 pm and I was amazed.
People really are coming? I thought. Really?
And they kept coming.
My mind was in so many places. I was leaving Lola for two weeks just the very next day. I was thinking about the “Count the Kicks” campaign and all the great things I wanted all expecting Momma’s to know. I was thinking of everyone that was there and I was praying so hard no one would get hurt.
You guys kept coming.
It didn’t just rain. IT POURED. And you kept coming. I love you for that. And even if you didn’t make it I know you wanted to and I can’t blame you for not coming. It was a muddy mess. It was not pumpkin picking weather. And everything .. and I mean almost everything that i had planned either cancled OR was a total no go. Bouncy house in the rain? Just asking for broken bones.
Kids in Kingsotn’s wet sand box- running through the mud, catching frogs, rolling pumpkins… It was the most amazing site to see.
And then the sun came out for a minute as we were calling off names and closing up the silent auction- ..
We were all together.
Someone said “Stacey the sun came out, maybe there is a rainbow.”…
I said “If you see one, please tell me, because I’ve never been able to see one here”…
and there was a rainbow.
It stopped raining when we were all together.
My life is so so so funny and it’s absolutely beautiful.
That day was so messy. It was so hard to take each step. I wanted to say “everyone- you can go home, this is silly- I can give you nothing I promised- save your money-it’s ok”…
But you guys didn’t give up on me. You came, kids played, and my sweet husband ran back to get pumpkins from the field so that people could still have them.
I’ll never forget October 5th 2013. The calming voices of Jenn Montibon saying “This is memories in the making”…
My cousin Mikie digging a trench in front of the barn so that the water would drain.
5 guys building a tarp walkway so that people could get to the barn.
The countless kind words of “It’s just rain, it’s ok”…
Dr. Lambers, the doctor who delievered Lola coming down to the farm like she said she would.
Nurse Practicioner Nancy Issak talking to me about kick counting in the same calming voice that she talked with me and Leo at our first prenatal visit while I was pregnant with baby #3.
My friends with their new babies under a swaying tent and rain drops on all of the strollers, carries, and diaper bags.
The way my sister and Jennifer could not leave that little table where the tickets were being sold because they were that busy.
Our neighbor running down the street to get a chain so that Leo could pull people out safer…
My sweet father-in-law stirring and getting soup for anyone who wanted some… in the rain.. with no tent…
The band playing– and playing– and playing…
What I felt was pure love. Pure pure love.
And when that sun came out I felt my baby boy… and when I saw that rainbow.. I knew why it rained… He was telling me- just as he has been telling me ever since he left me that there is a purpose for these “storms”… each one in your life… and you’ll see out each one and your life will be richer because of it.
Leo Blue- gave me my rainbow that day– and my sweet little Lola. My rainbow baby.
The sun comes out you guys… It does.. and if you take a chance and look around .. and embrace life.. you’ll find your rainbow… I’ve just been blessed enough to find two.