I thought I would just write about being a “new” momma…
A lot of my friends have just had their first baby- or are expecting their first. I became a new mom 2.5 years ago this week. And after getting Lola to sleep, running to make dinner for tonight (yes before noon), stripping the sheets of the bed to throw them in the washer, and putting away a basket full of laundry I thought- I’m not going to get a shower, I am going to write. Lola time- I got about 1 hour maybe a half an hour more until I need to get things “together”.. meaning- myself in the shower and hair dried- makeup comes after the 4th trimester.. because she will be awake.
Wheewww.. It can be rough. I am for one happy that Lola so far is cooperating. She is not screaming “you are doing something wrong” every hour like my sweet Kingston did. I remember Leo and I felt like we serioulsy sucked as parents. We said “no more”… and Leo would wake up in the middle of the night and turn on the water and sit with Kingston.
I cried because the dog was replaced by a screaming baby that I couldn’t leave in the house to go to Target. I felt bad for Mannie (which today is her 5th birthday). I cried because I felt Leo and I would never have time together, ever, again.
But somewhere around the 2 month mark – after we put him in his crib (those adjustment nights were also a BIG wake up call) I call it camp Kingston- where you would walk by his room and see a pillow and a blanket next to his crib- we rotated nights where we would pat him for it seemed like hours- it hit me that Hey! I think we got this.
Breasfeeding didn’t go well with Kingston. In fact I think we tried every Similac formula, Enfamil product, gas product, gripe water- numerous conversations with the Pediatrician- and finally switched him to Soy formula. Blah.
August- Kingston was 6 months. We decided “Hey, we’d like to do this again”.. So it didn’t take long to realize that a baby is the ultimate gift- for sure.
But those months of what felt like a big slap in the face and lots of “is this a joke?” faces were very, very hard.
I wrote how much I loved Kingston on FB daily. I had a friend tell me that she would look at my postings and think “Why don’t I feel XYZ way?” I looked back at those post and I can say I loved him, of course, but I had a hard time showing Kingston that love right away.
Even yesterday when I wanted to to get 1 million things done so Leo would come in the house and say “oh my gosh you’re beautiful, you made dinner, the house looks awesome, and you got a shower?”… I felt kinda blah.. So that’s when I decided to go outside and wait for the boys to get back from feeding the cows to smile over at Leo and say “There is frozen chicken on the stove- and I didn’t know what to do with that sauce”.. Deep breath in- he didn’t judge me- and he told Kingston to go play by me in the hammock so that he could go finish dinner and take out the trash.
The truth is Lola won’t be in my arms for much longer. I was rocking her and thinking of how much Kingston is not in them. It makes me sad.. but it makes me happy to. I love love love 2 year olds.
No one can prepare you for becoming a new mom. Not a class, nothing- maybe that’s why Leo and I never went to one.. or maybe we needed to? I’m not sure. Being a new mom is so hard. You have to learn how to give your baby, your husband, and your biological family, in-laws, and friends time- it’s hard to juggle. I don’t think I went to weddings much the first year of Kingston’s life. That’s so silly. I thought for sure if anyone fed him wrong- he’d have a worse night.. I thought if he got hurt while I was at work I was surly the worst parent on the earth for letting him be in an environment where he could get hurt.. I thought that I was the only one that could care for him. Although that is crazy to think- I still believe in good bedtime routines and making sure kids don’t get a lot of garbage to eat and ESPECIALLY drink.
It all comes together. It really does. ONe day you wake up and you are planning their first birthday party. Next week I am planning a 1 month photo session with Lola- Like I used to do for Kingston. I can’t believe it.
I just wanted all new Moms to know that most times everyone goes through a shock period where you feel like you might not get your life back. But you do. Juggling it all becomes easier and your little baby will just be happy to be with someone that loves them (a wise sister in law once told me that)… Don’t forget to cherish it … or at least write down funny things that happens or take those month photos. It goes so fast ( I know you want to smack me in the face for saying that).. but it does.
I have lots of love for new moms. It comes to you- that motherly instinct. Mine took a bit- even though it looks like I lied on FB I appreciate every moment looking back now.. and I had it together– now I’m figuring out how to get it together with two… It’s coming… It will be here soon