"Take the sourest lemon life has to offer and

turn it into something resembling lemonade"

Blue Christmas

December 18, 2012


Last week I had a huge package on my table when I came home from school. 

It was from one of my best friends or soul brother (what I like to call him), John. 

I smiled at Leo and opened it. 

Inside- 15 new cd’s. 

I was in heaven. 

From Justin Beibers Christmas CD to Pitbull to the best of Destiny’s Child- this guy really does know my heart and soul. 

I mean who couldn’t really get down to “Say My Name”… I adore him. 

Rod Stewarts Christmas cd was among those and since I have been in a sort of funk for Christmas I decided that would play in my car… 

Blue Christmas came on… 

“You’ll be doing alright with your Christmas of White… and I’ll have a blue, blue, blue Christmas”.. 


To me it’s very sweet. He’s in heaven- his white Christmas.. and I”m here blue, because I miss him and want him to be here this Christmas… but it’s really ok…. Because he really is doing alright. 

Yesterday Leo, Kingston, and I went to see him and put a little Christmas arrangement at his grave sit.  When we were driving back I said to Leo “That flag is not half staffed”.. 

We were just talking with Kingston to Blue and Kingston started to walk towards the flag… 

I said to Leo “Will I get in trouble is I make it half staffed?” 

Leo said “Who’s going to yell at you”./

So we walked and when we got there the flag was in honor of a veteran… 

I said to Leo “He would want his flag at half staff for the kids, I did this in girl scouts all the time, I’m going to do it”.. 

Of course I felt very emotional as I was doing that. I know what it feels to burry a baby, I never hope I know what it is like to have a funeral for a kindergarder… 

It’s so sad to me. I think of what Leo and I had to do.. and I imagine those parents with their memories walking up to burry their child. 

Their Christmas will be blue.. but I truly believe each family will find peace and will allow their child to live through them… and be remembered. 

Baby Blue we sure do miss you and wonder what it would be like with an 8 month old and an almost two year old. Your brother keeps us busy… and he is so sweet… thanks for teaching me so much these past 8 months… and giving me a new favorite Christmas color.. My favorite color light on the tree isn’t red or green.. it’s the one that shines bright blue, just like you  

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